I would like to start with my apologies. I was a terrible customer when I
last visited your restaraunt in Oakland, Maryland. When we arrived my
hunger had made me far too impatient with our cashier as she paced back
and forth along the counter, occasionally glancing in my direction for
about ten minutes. She was obviously trying to focus, to find her
tantric center. We inexperienced people tend to jump too quickly into
customer service. I envy her control.
When she was ready she
walked to the register and simply looked at me. I knew this was my cue
to order. What a pro! Not a "hello" or "how are you?" No time to waste
on that trivial banter! I spoke my order as quickly as possible and she
quoted a price while twisting her fingers through her beautiful
bleach-blonde locks. My eyes were drawn to the deep-red hicky there on
her neck. What a lovely contrast of the crimson on her milky-white skin!
I handed her my money and watched her put it in the till.
Next,
she expertly moved to the kitchen, avoiding the sink and soap. Washing
those hands would just slow her down, now. What are germs, anyway? I say
they're just a clever scheme by the government and pharmaceutical
companies to sell their so-called "wonder tonics". Well, I don't buy it
Mr. FDA! Skipping these useless and mundane steps, that cashier had my
food out to me in just over ten minutes. Now that I look back, I was
seriously impressed!
Here's where I crossed the line. I asked
for ketchup! I don't know what I was thinking, asking for more when she
had already gone above and beyond. I was so selfish. She said, "it's in
the pump in the dining room."
"But, my wife really wants them in the packet."
"There's
some out in the pump," she repeated. I deserved the harsh tone she was
taking at this point. After all, look at how ungrateful I'd been by
asking for ketchup packets.
"She really prefers the packets," I
unwisely pressed. She could have pulled the butterfly knife I saw in her
back pocket and plunged it deep into my jugular, screaming, "here's
your fucking ketchup!" She showed me mercy this day, however and let me
off with a loud sigh and an eye roll. She was so patient with me. I felt
truly blessed.
In closing, I would like to thank you for
giving me the chance to give you my money and serving me in return.
Where else can I get service like that. I promise to strive to be a
better customer in the future if you will only let me come back often
and spend my hard-earned money on your expert service. May God bless you
and keep you and may others learn from your expertise. Thank you for
your time.
Richard Ward
No comments:
Post a Comment